In the fourth step we inventory 3 things. They are resentment, fear, and sex. Resentment for me is anger, irritation, strong negative feelings for someone or something. The inventory is written. They instruct us to put down on paper those with whom we were angry. Why are we looking at resentment? As mentioned in the last thoughts resentment is a manifestation of a life run on self will. Resentments block me from God’s power and direction. I need to face and be rid of my anger. It says to be thorough.. This is called the first column.
The next instruction is to ask myself what was the cause. This is called the second column. The example in the book is very concise. It is really not important what i perceive because the process teaches us that no matter what happens my anger is always wrong.
The third column is why we were angry. This where the handout on self is very helpful. I realize that unless one of my instincts is threatened I won’t get disturbed. So if I am running the world to get what I think I need in the instincts of life I will be constantly angry at someone or something. Column one is the name or thing but it is my self centeredness that causes the reaction to the event. I can only change that by whenever disturbed go to God to ask him to change the way I see things from a God centered point of view. We will look at that further in column 4 and practice that in steps 6, 7, and 10.
The book then gives us several powerful paragraphs that every alcoholic needs to understand for himself. I will review them in my next thought. I hope everyone had a peaceful and joyful holiday.