Thoughts on Recovery – No. 41 – Step 4 – Fear – A Different Basis Relying and Trusting in God – Page 68

The instructions on fear are basically 2 paragraphs on page 68. They have changed my life. In this thought I will look at the first 3 sentences of the second paragraph on page 68.
In the previous thought I focused on self centered fear and the effect it had on my life. It was an evil and corroding thread that destroyed the tapestry of my life. Self centered fear was the result of self reliance. If I want my life to be a beautiful tapestry I must find a better way than relying on self.
I relied on self to manage my life. I need to live on a different basis. They suggest a better way – relying and trusting in God. For everything! Remember on page 63 they suggest we think well before taking step 3 making sure I am ready to at last abandon myself utterly to God. Whenever I have self centered fear I am trying to manage that area of my life. On page 53 I have to face the proposition that God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What is my choice to be? I know today that when I get fear I am choosing me to run that area of my life. I recognize that and say God I give this to you. I have a God box and if the fear is very troubling I write the fear and put it in the box. Over the years I have had to use the God box less and less. I will share more on how I deal with fear on a daily basis when we get to the prayer for freedom from fear in the next paragraph.
The next suggestion on page 68 is to trust infinite God rather than my finite self! If God has all the power why would I even try to manage my life in the first place. That is the riddle of my existence. The hardest thing about trusting God is trusting God. Trust implies faith. I started out with belief in step 2. I followed that with a decision in step 3 to stop playing God and let God direct my life and actions. Step 4 is the beginning of the actions that will produce faith. In step 4 now I am looking at fear and how not trusting God leads to self centered fear. Self centered fear triggers all my character defects. I start now the process of prayer and action to let God manage my life and as I see the changes in my thinking and actions my belief turns to faith and trust. Then I know when I turn to God I have access to a power to solve all my problems. The chapter to the agnostic final lines will come true. ” He has come to all who have honestly sought him. When we draw near to Him he discloses himself to us.”
The next thought will look at my experience with the directions and the promise that are are in the rest of that paragraph.