Thoughts of Recovery – No. 18 – Selfishness and alcohol

In the last 2 thoughts I talked about the disease of alcoholism. I believe the disease is evident when one is sober without a conscious contact with God. If one is selfish and self centered and managing their life than the result is not good,. Life becomes one of  conflict with people, resentment, fear, and harmful actions that produce shame and guilt. For the alcoholic this manner of living produces feelings that were characterized by Dr. Silkworth as restless, irritable, and discontented. When an alcoholic has these  feelings he seek the ease and comfort of alcohol and he has no power to resist taking the first drink.

Therefore if I live a life self centered than it will produce feelings that will cause my mind to seek alcohol as a relief. Thus alcohol was a solution to treat  my self centeredness. The problem is it may have worked early on it but it stops producing relief and because of the phenomenon of craving my problems pile up on themselves.  Being self directed and obsessed with myself I have no power to change this whole process. It says many go on to the gates of insanity or death. The solution is to find a different manner of living . This is to be God centered and directing. It means the destruction of self centeredness. The big book is written so I can find a power to live and the power will solve my problem. It has specific instructions on how to accomplish that and is the purpose why this book was written. The steps is a program of recovery from the self centered condition.