Thoughts on Recovery – No. 9 – Alcoholism a disease of perception

When I admit I am an alcoholic what does that mean to me? It means that I have an allergy of the body that is called the phenomenom of craving. If I put alcohol in my body something happens that causes me to crave more alcohol. There is no treatment for that. Therefore I have no control once I put alcohol in my system. So the obvious solution is to not drink. However because I  am an alcoholic I have lost the power to drink.  I will never on my own have the power of choice in drink. My power must come from a higher power which I choose to call God.

So as a result of being an alcoholic I have lost the power of control and choice but what makes me an alcoholic? For me alcohol changes my perception of reality. It changes how I feel and see things. If I become restless, irritable, or discontented, my mind will seek the ease and comfort of alcohol. My mind has been damaged in regard to alcohol so I can only see what it is going to do for me not to me. That is why willpower won’t work. Just before I take a drink I am sober.  In that state at certain times i cannot recall the humiliation and defeat from alcohol and will tell myself alcohol is ok for me because I can only focus on what it is going to do for me. Joe and Charlie read the ninth step promises in regard to alcohol. When I take alcohol I will know peace and follow through the 12 promises . Alcohol could do for me what I could not do for myself. So no wonder alcohol had so much power over me. One speaker said alcohol would turn the world from gray to color. Unfortunately there was a point reached where it stopped working and get relief and there was the downward cycle of continuous drinking .

Father Bill W  said our mind has been damaged with regard to alcohol because we cannot see the truth about it.  The 12 steps are designed to give me a way to live so i won’t seek the ease and comfort of alcohol but the ease and comfort from my higher power.  Therefore for me alcohol was a solution for how I felt. It is called a spirit. Now i use the spiritual exercises to change how I see things by consciously connecting to a different spirit I choose to call God. Only thru conscious contact as the result of the steps can I say when the idea of drinking crops up bad idea.

The texbook alcoholics anonymous is a book designed to show us the specific directions , the path to follow to God. I  will focus in the next set of posts how the book carries out it’s purpose. Would love to hear from you. My email is michaelhurwitz50@gmail.com.