I want to make clear to members that these thoughts are not definitive treatise on the subjects. Just an attempt to stimulate thought or discussion and provide information based on my study and experience. Today I look further at the disease of alcoholism focusing on it as a spiritual malady.
It says on page 64 that I suffer from a spiritual disease. “For we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically.”
When it says a spiritual disease what does that mean? I was dis-ease with the spirit. I was separated from the spirit. When they use the term spiritual malady what do they mean? A malady is an illness , sickness, or disordered condition. Now the spirit was not ill, the condition means that I was in conflict or disordered condition with the spirit.
The spiritual malady is the result of my being out of order with my higher power who I choose to call God. I was the manager or director of my life. I was playing God . I was the director in the drama of life and managing the world so I could get what I thought I needed to feel ok. The problem was playing God. It didn’t work. I was in conflict with everyone and everything. Fear and resentment dominated my thoughts and I made decisions based on self which caused me harm and harmed others. My playing God was insane because I am not God. Therefore my illness is a result of relying on self.
Selfishness and self -centeredness is the root of my trouble. My troubles are of my own making and arise out my living a life run on self-will. I must be God centered instead of self centered and God directed rather than self directed . How do I accomplish this? The program of recovery . The 12 steps. The specific directions in the first 102 pages of the book Alcoholic Anonymous.
Tomorrow I will look at the relationship between my self- centeredness and alcohol.
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